Thursday, February 09, 2006
I saw a TV commercial recently that was touting Onstar diagnostic service for your GM automobile. Basically speaking, reports can be generated from an onboard computer to tell you about your car's condition. The commercial shows a fellow opening his garage door and peering into the dark garage and saying something like--- " Gee, it's almost like we can talk to each other." If this technology had been available in 1983, I could have had a conversation with a Pontiac Sunbird which might have gone something like this---
Me: It sure is a beautiful day out here on the lot. Your shiny blue color and nice lines with your practical 4 doors could make you an excellent buy to be my family car.
Sunny: Well, thanks, but we probably need to talk first and get a few things understood.
Me: OK. What is it that you wanted to ask?
Sunny: Do you and the family make many trips to the mountains?
Me: Not really, but we are planning one next Fall.
Sunny: Ohhhhhhhhh, that could be a problem---- I'm feeling a little queasy even thinking about it!
Me: Really? Tell me all about it.
Sunny: Well, to tell you the truth, I think those climbs in the mountains could cause my engine to become a little too hot, like maybe boiling my fluids, warping my little aluminum head, and generally causing a fatal illness that I would never recover from.
Me: Oh my! Whatever caused you to think that will happen?
Sunny: You see, Mom and Dad have been trounced on quality by the Japanese while working on their Marketing pitch and duking it out with the unions over pension plans and wages. I bet I have more defects in my little body than a whole fleet of Hondas and Toyotas. It wouldn't surprise me that we would even be close to bankruptcy at the turn of the century. And, my buddy down the street, Freddy Ford, told me he feels that way about his mommy and daddy, too!
Me: Gosh, I'm sorry to hear all of that! Maybe I should come back when you are feeling better about things.
Sunny: (Sobbing and with a wailing cry) Don't bother. Once you meet Harry Honda and Tommy Toyota, you'll never be back!
I recently talked to an interesting guy who is going to take out a tree in my back yard to make way for a new addition. The spot he will be working in is rather tight, so I asked how he would be able to get a crane into place in such a narrow opening. "Won't need one ", he said confidently," I'll just be climbing up and sawing away--never used a crane in 30 years." As I appeared to have an incredulous expression and peered upward about 30 feet, he went on to say that he had "only" been injured badly enough to come down out of a tree once in his whole career. I guess the other times he only had broken bones or some other minor aggravation. The greatest part of all was when I asked how old he was, and found out he was a 50 something! As for me, I worry that I could pull muscles getting in and out of bed, and keep myself going all day with ibuprofen, and wonder drugs. Timmmmmmmmmmmmmm- ber!
Today, I'm going to learn how to hook my digital camera up to this computer, so if I never see you again, it's been fun. Seriously, the instructions look like a manual for building a nuclear warhead! I think if I can find an elementary school kid who can stop playing his video games long enough to help, I may be OK. I'll let you know what happens.
I'm going to let you know soon about my views on vanity license plates after I collect a few more samples. Stay tuned. Lucy the WonderDog is growling to go out.
" If fear is cultivated it will become stronger. If faith is cultivated it will achieve the mastery... faith is the stronger emotion because it is positive, whereas fear is negative."
--- John Paul Jones
See you later.
Tim
Me: It sure is a beautiful day out here on the lot. Your shiny blue color and nice lines with your practical 4 doors could make you an excellent buy to be my family car.
Sunny: Well, thanks, but we probably need to talk first and get a few things understood.
Me: OK. What is it that you wanted to ask?
Sunny: Do you and the family make many trips to the mountains?
Me: Not really, but we are planning one next Fall.
Sunny: Ohhhhhhhhh, that could be a problem---- I'm feeling a little queasy even thinking about it!
Me: Really? Tell me all about it.
Sunny: Well, to tell you the truth, I think those climbs in the mountains could cause my engine to become a little too hot, like maybe boiling my fluids, warping my little aluminum head, and generally causing a fatal illness that I would never recover from.
Me: Oh my! Whatever caused you to think that will happen?
Sunny: You see, Mom and Dad have been trounced on quality by the Japanese while working on their Marketing pitch and duking it out with the unions over pension plans and wages. I bet I have more defects in my little body than a whole fleet of Hondas and Toyotas. It wouldn't surprise me that we would even be close to bankruptcy at the turn of the century. And, my buddy down the street, Freddy Ford, told me he feels that way about his mommy and daddy, too!
Me: Gosh, I'm sorry to hear all of that! Maybe I should come back when you are feeling better about things.
Sunny: (Sobbing and with a wailing cry) Don't bother. Once you meet Harry Honda and Tommy Toyota, you'll never be back!
I recently talked to an interesting guy who is going to take out a tree in my back yard to make way for a new addition. The spot he will be working in is rather tight, so I asked how he would be able to get a crane into place in such a narrow opening. "Won't need one ", he said confidently," I'll just be climbing up and sawing away--never used a crane in 30 years." As I appeared to have an incredulous expression and peered upward about 30 feet, he went on to say that he had "only" been injured badly enough to come down out of a tree once in his whole career. I guess the other times he only had broken bones or some other minor aggravation. The greatest part of all was when I asked how old he was, and found out he was a 50 something! As for me, I worry that I could pull muscles getting in and out of bed, and keep myself going all day with ibuprofen, and wonder drugs. Timmmmmmmmmmmmmm- ber!
Today, I'm going to learn how to hook my digital camera up to this computer, so if I never see you again, it's been fun. Seriously, the instructions look like a manual for building a nuclear warhead! I think if I can find an elementary school kid who can stop playing his video games long enough to help, I may be OK. I'll let you know what happens.
I'm going to let you know soon about my views on vanity license plates after I collect a few more samples. Stay tuned. Lucy the WonderDog is growling to go out.
" If fear is cultivated it will become stronger. If faith is cultivated it will achieve the mastery... faith is the stronger emotion because it is positive, whereas fear is negative."
--- John Paul Jones
See you later.
Tim
